Nobody ever said that going refined sugar and refined carbohydrates free was going to be easy.
Other phrases no one has ever uttered are, “Elizabeth, you’re a great inventor of recipes” or “Hey, creme fraiche is gonna make those split peas taste better”.
I wish I’d gotten the memo on the latter two.
So, it all started with me reading an article someone had written about using unsweetened (READ: sugar free) chocolate to create chocolate covered something or other. The recipe sounded delicious but it used honey to sweeten the chocolate and in my book honey is a little too close to refined sugar for my own liking. So, I decided to create my own chocolate-dipped something or other on my own, (mistake #1). I have used unsweetened chocolate on baked pears and it has turned out yummy but in retrospect, it has occurred to me that the sugar of the pear made the chocolate taste less like dirt than it normally would.
And so, this morning I took out my no-sugar-added peanut butter and decided I would cover it in melted unsweetened chocolate. In my head, projecting ahead to the final product, I feared that the peanut butter might be a bit too dry so I began to brainstorm ideas to make it more moist. I opened the fridge and there staring at me, was a container of creme fraiche. Now, I confess…I have NO idea what people actually do with creme fraiche. I bought it because it sounded like something I might like and only used it once, as a dipping accompaniment to my aforementioned baked pear. I spooned out a small amount and added it to my chunky peanut butter (mistake #2). I rolled that mixture into little balls, smothered them in unsweetened chocolate, sprinkled on a bit of sliced almond, (hey, it looked pretty) and let them cool and harden in the freezer.
The final product?
They looked pretty, don’t they?
Here’s a close up of the inside,
And then I took a bite, (mistake #3).
They tasted like, well, dirt mixed with creme fraiche, sprinkled with almond slices.
So, let’s chalk this one up to an aesthetically pleasing and painfully disappointing FAIL.
And then came dinner.
I’ve had a bag of split peas in my pantry for some time now. Tonight they spoke to me, whispering, “Hey, don’t bother with a recipe or an attempt to turn us into soup, just create your own recipe.”
Well, I’m not one to turn a cold shoulder to talking food and so I followed their orders (mistake #4).
I simmered the split peas for what seemed like 4 hours, (ok, it was only like 40 minutes, but time goes in slow-motion when you’re hungry, no?) Once they were cooked, I gave ‘em a taste and found them a bit, err…dry.
So what do you think I decided to add to them to make them more moist?
Are you shaking your head yet because you know what’s coming? You should be.
You guessed it!
Creme Freaking Fraiche. (What # mistake am I on now? I’ve lost count)
Why? I have no clue. Honestly, I just tried to think of reasons why and I’m at a complete lost.
And here was the final product,
Yea, it made me want to projectile vomit too.
So, in case you’re keeping track, that totals
and most importantly
1 GIANT lesson learned: Say au revoir to le creme fraiche!